30-Minutes Til The Beginning Of The End

For the Central time zone, the final year of Dubya’s reign will begin in about thirty minutes. As for our friends to the east, the final year has already begun. I must ask all of you over there a question. Do you feel any different? Is there a sweetness in the air? A feeling of [...]

About Me: The Spyglass Reporter

Before I continue any further with this little blog ‘o mine, I want to tell you a little more about myself.
The name is Zach. I live in a small town about 50 miles north of Dallas, Texas, and I am a high school senior. After high school, I plan to go to the University [...]

OMFG Moment: Edwards Leads In Iowa

The latest polls show that in Iowa, the tables seem to be turning for the Dems. John Edwards is squeaking a 1% lead in front of Clinton and Obama. The actual numbers show Edwards with 24, Clinton with 23, Obama with 22 and Bill Richardson comfortably in fourth at 12. On the republican side, Huckabee [...]

Stop The Presses! She Didn’t Die THAT Way!

Hey everybody! Bhutto didn’t die from the lead! She hit her head on the damn sunroof! God dammit. Well, if you don’t believe me, look at this:
Ms. Bhutto tried to duck down into the car just as the suicide bomber detonated his explosives, and the force of the blast caused her to strike her [...]

McCain Pwns Post-Bhutto

Well, the dust has cleared and the candidates have spouted their opinions of the recently slain Benazir Bhutto. Who came out on top? Why, Walnuts, of course! John McCain came forward mere moments after he heard the news, saying that he would be on the phone, meeting with the National Security Council, and saving kitties [...]

WTF Moment: Bill Parcells Waddles To Miami

Here’s a little hint of sports news to lighten the mood. “The Tuna” has dragged his flabby hambone ass from Dallas to Miami to become the Vice President of Operations of the world’s suckiest football team, the Dolphins.
After leaving the Cowboys in shambles, Parcells has spent his short retirement playing Bocce with his asshole friends [...]

Mike Gravel Presents: One Fucked-Up Christmas

Even worse than Giuliani’s fruitcake rant, this ad demonstrates almost every level of terrible known to man. Sure, it’s not serious, but it really can’t improve your chances at the polls by any means. I really can’t explain it with words. Just watch it.

It has to be the most disturbing thing [...]

Giuliani Releases 9/11-a-palooza Ad In Florida.

He’s freakin’ out, man. Rudy’s poll numbers have been far from satisfactory in the past few weeks, so now he’s goin’ craaaaaaaaazy! Check this out:

So? Waddyathink? Dripping with 9/11 goodness, isn’t it? This latest ad is Rudy’s desperate attempt to grab the attention of Florida geriatrics. Next in the pipeline, Giuliani’s [...]

Bhutto’s Body To Be Transported For Burial

According to several sources, the body of Benazir Bhutto is to be transported to her ancestral home for burial. A video of the first sighting of her casket has surfaced on Pakistani television, and has just started to air here in the States.

Press Conference In Progress In Crawford.

In reaction to the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, the White House is now having a press conference at their western branch in Crawford. The White House will be investigating the incident, and they have stated that President Bush is looking forward to having a conversation with President Musharraf.
UPDATE: Bush said in a brief address a [...]