Iowa Zeitgeist: Huck’s A Dumbass, Among Other Observations

02Jan08

Here we are. A day away from the most overblown, over-hyped gathering of Midwesterners in the history of democracy. Where do we stand? Hell if I know. Edwards is campaigning to the point of near-exhaustion of both hair and body, Clinton is handing snow shovels to folks who could be snowed in, Ron Paul has the World of Warcraft voter group in the palm of his hand, and the Huckster is in L.A.; giddier than his former corpulent self in an Arkansas Waffle House. Mmmm…pecan waffle…

Teh Huckabeez has also proven his lack of brain cells again recently. He has no clue what all of the hullabaloo with the Writer’s Guild is all about, and neither does he know what Mormonism is. The only thing he seems to have a grasp of is his caloric intake and how Jebus presumably wants his stretchy ass in the White House.

Romney is perusing the state flexing his robotic Leave-It-To-Beaver charisma muscle. As if that’s new. He’s even been dragging the kiddos along, too. So is Freddy “Law and Order” Thompson. He’s even retrofitted his campaign bus with a changing table!

Even though John McCain is making a last minute trip to the Hawkeye State, he’s been focusing more on New Hampshire. He’s gained a lead in the state after showing the people his foreign policy expertise and wartime scrotum scars.

That’s about all I have for now. I’ve gotta go and laugh at this picture more!



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