March 1, 2008...2:35 pm

Where in the Hell Have I Been? IN HELL, YOU ASSHOLES!!!

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Super Tuesday can take a lot out of you. After that fateful night, I awoke in the middle of a field filled with corn stubble, with my pants at my ankles and an overpowering smell of Pine-Sol and feces in the air.

I have since recovered, and hope to cover the Texas and Ohio primaries as well as my traumatized brain will allow. Let’s recap right quick.

  • Obama is leading by 157 delegates.
  • Clinton has been doing some serious bitching.
  • McCain has clenched the republican nomination.
  • Romney dropped out like the puss that he is. Nominated for Most Mormon and Best Loser Stiffie awards.
  • Huckabee’s still truckin’, with only Jebus and fried squirrel keeping him alive.
  • RALPH NADER’S GONNA FUCK IT UP AGAIN.

Now back to the current. In Texas, my home state, The Hillster and Obama are neck-and-neck in the polls. Now I just can’t wait till it’s all over. Now I know how Iowa felt. Damn.

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