Super Tuesday can take a lot out of you. After that fateful night, I awoke in the middle of a field filled with corn stubble, with my pants at my ankles and an overpowering smell of Pine-Sol and feces in the air.
I have since recovered, and hope to cover the Texas and Ohio primaries as [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Uncategorized’
March 1, 2008
Where in the Hell Have I Been? IN HELL, YOU ASSHOLES!!!
February 5, 2008
YOU Think About It 2008: Supa Tuesday Throwdown
Well, here it is. The day voters have been dreading and politicians have been masturbating about. Super Tuesday.
The polls say Clinton, hope says Obama, big business says Romney, war-mongers say McCain, and Jebus says Huckabee, but no matter what any of them say, the voters will have to decide. I’m really not liking this “responsibility” [...]
January 29, 2008
YTAI’08 PrimaryWatch: Florida
America’s penis has spoken, and John McCain has been projected to win. Romney is currently in second, with Giuliani in third and Paul in fourth. Some deadpool members have even raked in votes with senile jews and inebriated Cubans. Fred Thompson has a whopping 1% of the vote, and Duncan Hunter has about 2,000 votes.
And [...]
January 28, 2008
Finishing Up: Dubya’s Last SOTU
It’s done. George Bush’s final State of the Union before being replaced by Elizabeth Kucinich as president.
It was the usual SOTU. The Union is strong, blah blah…immigration, earmarks, education, pwnage in Iraq, how bitchin’ ‘Merica is, blah blah…and a demand for less “jump medical lawsuits.” Guess he skipped his Hooked on Phonics session with Laura [...]
January 25, 2008
South Carolina Poll Roundup
Here we are. A day before the South Carolina primaries. Not much has happened since Nevada, besides the bloodthirsty swings thrown by Obama and Clinton, as well as the eerie calmness of the GOP gang. Has any of the new tactics swayed voters? Let’s take a look.
South Carolina (D): Obama 44%, Clinton 24%, Edwards 19% [...]
January 24, 2008
YTAI’08 Deadpool: Dennis Kucinich
They’re dropping like flies, and the littlest fly has finally decided to turn it’s belly. Our good little friend Dennis Kucinich will be expected to make a formal announcement tomorrow that he will be dropping out of the 2008 election, presumably to have more crazy, rabid, sweaty elfin-on-giantess lovemaking. He’s also stated that he will [...]
January 23, 2008
WTF Moment: Ledger’s Masseuse Calls Olsen Twin
According to this Times article, someone is a very stupid person indeed.
Just after discovering actor Heath Ledger’s body in his bedroom, the masseuse promptly picked up the phone and called…Mary-Kate Olsen.
Since Mary-Kate was apparently a friend of Ledger, the masseuse’s first reaction was of course to call the useless old child star for guidance on [...]
January 22, 2008
YTAI’08 Deadpool: Fred Thompson
It’s official. Fred “DUN DUN” Thompson has ended this episode in his political life. He dropped out of the race today. I really don’t have much to say about this semi-non-candidate, but I just hope he gets his ass back on Law & Order, because I’m having severe McCoy withdrawals since he become D.A. Who [...]
January 19, 2008
YTAI’08 Deadpool: Duncan Hunter
We now mourn yet another campaign death in the 2008 election. Duncan Hunter, the candidate that everyone loved to not know about, has decided to drop out of the race. His excuse wasn’t some pussy “I’m outta money!” or “I want to spend time with family.” crap. It was honest. He pretty much said that [...]
January 19, 2008
Nevada Thinks About It ‘08: Romney & Clinton Win
The results are in for Nevada, and the victors are now obvious. Hillary Clinton has taken the What Happens Here Stays Here State, with Barry trailing by 5%, and Edwards far, far behind in third.
On the GOP side, Mitt Romney finally takes the friggin’ gold, so now he can celebrate like the Special Olympian that [...]
