Super Tuesday can take a lot out of you. After that fateful night, I awoke in the middle of a field filled with corn stubble, with my pants at my ankles and an overpowering smell of Pine-Sol and feces in the air.
I have since recovered, and hope to cover the Texas and Ohio primaries as [...]
Posts Tagged as ‘election’
March 1, 2008
Where in the Hell Have I Been? IN HELL, YOU ASSHOLES!!!
February 5, 2008
YOU Think About It 2008: Supa Tuesday Throwdown
Well, here it is. The day voters have been dreading and politicians have been masturbating about. Super Tuesday.
The polls say Clinton, hope says Obama, big business says Romney, war-mongers say McCain, and Jebus says Huckabee, but no matter what any of them say, the voters will have to decide. I’m really not liking this “responsibility” [...]
January 24, 2008
YTAI’08 Deadpool: Dennis Kucinich
They’re dropping like flies, and the littlest fly has finally decided to turn it’s belly. Our good little friend Dennis Kucinich will be expected to make a formal announcement tomorrow that he will be dropping out of the 2008 election, presumably to have more crazy, rabid, sweaty elfin-on-giantess lovemaking. He’s also stated that he will [...]
January 19, 2008
Nevada Thinks About It ‘08: Romney & Clinton Win
The results are in for Nevada, and the victors are now obvious. Hillary Clinton has taken the What Happens Here Stays Here State, with Barry trailing by 5%, and Edwards far, far behind in third.
On the GOP side, Mitt Romney finally takes the friggin’ gold, so now he can celebrate like the Special Olympian that [...]
January 15, 2008
Nevada Debate Lowdown
It’s been a long one, folks. It’s still going on as I type, and things haven’t really happened. I ate some lasagna, took a shower, and filled out a few student aid forms while the candidates have been blabbing, and nothing much has stuck out. Edwards is being a little irritable, and the race card [...]
January 14, 2008
YOU Think About It 2008: Primary Ad Round-Up
I’ve come across quite a few campaign ad over the past few days on the Interweb tubes, so I’ve decided to gather ‘em all up and serve ‘em your way. Here they are in all of their poorly produced glory.
Fred “DUN DUN” Thompson: He’s had a tough time. Trying to win delegates while also changing [...]
January 8, 2008
YOU Think About It 2008: N’Hampshire Democratic OCTAGON CAGE MATCH!
Tuesday, Tuesday, TUESDAY!!!!! It’s the democratic frontrunner’s fight to the death in the “CLOBBERIN’ IN CONCORD!!!” Watch as Hillary “Sandy Vajayjay” Clinton dukes it out in an electoral battle royale with Barack “Dynomaiiiiite!” Obama!
It’s been one hell of a cagematch so far, folks! It’s Clinton with 39% and Obama with 36% with 63% of the [...]
January 7, 2008
N’Hampshire Pre-Game: Clinton Cries, Paultards Drop F-Bombs
What a day it has been, folks. John Edwards once again has been on the brink of killing himself, and Clintons Bill and Hillary have been crying and arguing their way to Tuesday. Drudge has brought up the possibility of Hill dropping out, and Romney has managed to muster a three-point lead in front of [...]
January 4, 2008
YOU Think About It 2008: The Deadpool
I’ve finally decided to make my election coverage a little more flashy. I now introduce to you, YOU Think About It 2008, the pinnacle of election coverage! I’ll get some graphics packages and shit made up later. I’ve gotta get some swishy newsy-type noises to go with ‘em, too.
As my first post of our in-depth [...]
January 3, 2008
It’s Finally Over! Obama and Huckster Win Tall Corn State
Thank the Lord it’s finally passed. The Iowa caucuses have ended. The citizens of Iowa can now return to their snowplows and butter churning, and the candidate can head to New Hampshire to focus all of their annoyance powers on that unsuspecting populace.
The mostly final results have revealed that Barack Obama has won for the [...]
